


Our Own World Wonder

by i_saw_sparks



Category: Big Time Rush RPF
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff, Marriage, Parents, Romance, Toddler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-06-16
Packaged: 2017-12-15 05:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/845674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_saw_sparks/pseuds/i_saw_sparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn’t even spell his own name, and yet he had that awe-inspiring ability to become the center of everyone’s universe (Logan Henderson oneshot).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Own World Wonder

Even with the sickening scent of grease heavy in the air and the cramped, stifling atmosphere of the small restaurant, for her, this was that little piece of heaven. It was the first moment since her alarm had gone off that morning that she’d actually gotten a chance to _breathe_ , to feel the air gush from the bottom of her lungs in one true, satisfying exhale.

Altogether, their lunch cost $12.50, but that feeling was priceless.

Kandi had traded in her lab coat for a cashmere cardigan, her microscope and her desk in the lab for a milkshake and the table stretched beneath her forearms.The first few hints of a migraine throbbed in her skull, her brown eyes exhausted from hours spent picking apart cells against the harsh lighting, but all of those little frustrations seemed insignificant as soon as she spotted the two of them waiting for her.

The table was tucked away in the corner of the room by the window, the midday sun trickling in beams against stretches of fair skin. A car pulled out of the drive-thru, the sun glaring off its silver paint, and Kandi couldn’t help but laugh to herself as she watched the two-year-old thrust his arm towards the window, his chubby toddler hand clenched into an awkward fist as one stubby finger trailed the vehicle onto the main street.

Truthfully, for the past twenty-eight months, she had expected that feeling to eventually fade away, that automatic reaction that every single thing Eben did was adorable, but to her surprise, it hadn’t. Even when she thought she was at her wit’s end, he’d flash her that smile, the same dimpled grin that his father had, and she’d feel herself begin to melt. It was a sense of utter fulfillment that she just couldn’t explain, and a part of her knew she’d spend the rest of her life trying to coax that precocious smile out of him.

“Well hey there!” she greeted them. The enthusiasm that seeped through her tone was genuine as she slid into the seat across the table from them. “And just what are you up to?”

He pursed his lips for a moment, his gaze fixated on the scribbles in front of him, and then, his deep brown eyes lit up as he exclaimed, “Mama! Look! Look!”

He held up the tiny napkin covered in squiggles and doodles done in red, blue, and purple crayon for her approval. They’d taken to bringing a small box of crayons with them wherever they went because, since he’d gained enough control of his fine motor skills to keep a firm hold on a crayon, it was the only thing that could hold his attention for a decent amount of time.

“That’s so pretty, sweetie,” she assured him as she grabbed the peach milkshake from their tray. Taking a sip, it was hard for her to hide the way her nose automatically scrunched up. She’d always hated peaches, but it was what they’d ordered the very first time they’d come here, back when it was just her and Logan, so it had become sort of their own little tradition. Though she didn’t like the taste, she found comfort in the familiar flavor.

Kandi tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she glanced across the table to meet his stare. “Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s okay.” His lips curled into a soft smile, and despite the years that had passed, she still felt that little flutter in her chest. “So how was work?”

She grinned to herself as she watched him hold the toddler in his lap, curls the color of milk chocolate spilling from beneath the little boy’s backwards baseball cap. It was the same black Phillies hat that Logan had twisted on his own head. Two pairs of the same soft brown eyes stared back at her, Logan’s toothy, squinty-eyed grin mirrored on their son’s lips. It was the little moments like this that made her realize just how lucky she was.

“Pretty much the same as usual,” she replied, that faint smile clinging to her lips as her gaze wandered back to her husband. “What about you guys? What sort of trouble did y’all get into today?”

Logan’s grip on the toddler’s torso grew firmer as he smiled to himself. “ _Well_ , we did watch a ton of _Wonder Pets_ and even broke out the finger paint, so yeah, it was sort of a rager.” There was that hint of sarcasm in his tone, but she could tell from the wholehearted grin on his face and the look of absolute adoration in his eyes that he was so much more than just content with the new arrangement.

“So I’m guessing you don’t miss work right now?” Her fingers began to pry apart the aluminum foil wrapper as her eyes flickered between her lunch and Logan’s lips.

His immediate reaction was to laugh. “Uh, that would be a big fat no.” He took a sip of his milkshake before he continued, his eyes shifting to her fingertips. “Oh yeah, I went ahead and got you barbeque chicken. I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for.”

“That’s fine,” she reassured him, gently peeling the pickle slices from beneath the bun and tossing them aside.

Silence lapsed between the two of them as they tried to enjoy their lunch, with Eben stealing French fries from his father’s plate and mashing them between his fingers.

“But yeah,” Logan spoke up, his syrupy eyes scanning the array of flyers and business cards locked beneath the plastic tabletop as he nervously fiddled with his straw. “I’m not worried about work. Right now, this is where I need to be.”

Because that was the sort of effect that Eben had on people. He couldn’t even spell his own name, and yet he had that awe-inspiring ability to become the center of everyone’s universe. It was impossible to meet him and not fall in love with him, to resist becoming wrapped around those clumsy little fingers of his. He was so pure, the way he saw the world had yet to be tainted by struggles and hardships, by wants and desires that were always just out of his reach, and it was a beautiful thing. His vast sense of wonder drew people to him like a magnet, and she knew it was more than simply this phase in his life or the fact that he was unbelievably adorable. It was an almost imperceptible quality, an underlying charisma that she had no doubt would eventually blossom into a trait even more remarkable than it already was.

The Taj Mahal, the pyramids in Giza, neither of them held a candle to little Eben Henderson. He was his own little pocket of everything good and right that the world had to offer. With Logan’s effortless charm and Kandi’s quick wits, he’d somehow managed to get the absolute best of what his parents had to offer, and he was their jackpot, their own world wonder, the something they’d never imagined they’d wanted but now couldn’t live their lives without. Eben was the one thing that made everything else seem to fall into place.

And right now, their little blessing was dabbing his fingers into the ketchup and swirling it across Logan’s tray.

“Aw come on, little buddy! That’s not finger paint!” Logan’s finger’s curved around Eben’s wrist, grabbing napkins from the dispenser with his free hand and quickly swiping the toddler’s sticky red fingers clean.

Kandi stole a glance at him from across the table, and though she was happy with her life, she couldn’t help but think that maybe they were beginning to lose themselves to the monotony of everyday life. Since he’d came into their lives, they’d been so focused on raising Eben that they didn’t have much time to be a couple anymore. Now that Logan was taking a break from his acting career and the constant shuffle between Hollywood and Charleston, Kandi was the one that was always away from home, picking up extra shifts at the lab, trying to get accustomed to her new position. The timing just never seemed to be right for them.

“So have you talked to any of the guys lately?” she asked, forcing the hope into her voice as she reached for her drink. Though he’d never admit it, she knew Logan had to be going stir-crazy. With his family in Dallas and his friends back in Los Angeles, being stranded in South Carolina with a two-year-old wasn’t exactly what anyone would label as glamorous, and truth be told, she did worry about Logan. She wanted him to be happy, to be satisfied. She didn’t want him to feel like he was missing out on something by having a family. She didn’t want him to leave Eben the same way her father had left her all of those years ago.

“Actually, Carlos called me the other day,” he replied casually, but Kandi had known him long enough to be able to detect that subtle hint of excitement in his voice. It had been far too long since he’d experienced some quality male bonding, and she knew that he needed that chance to be himself again. Not a husband, not a father, just Logan. “He told me that he and Lexi were thinking about flying out for vacation.”

“Oh really? And just what brought this about?” she asked with that slight lilt of laughter in her voice.

“I don’t know, I guess they’ve never been to Charleston before.” He offered her a shrug. “Believe it or not, even California gets boring sometimes.”

“Maybe we should take a vacation…” She was thinking aloud again, and while she hadn’t intended for it to come across as a question or even a suggestion, Logan was eager to throw his two cents in.

“Yeah, it would be nice.”

She caught that glimmer of excitement swirled in his coffee-colored irises; he’d always loved making plans. Just that wandering thought was enough to set the wheels in motion.

“We wouldn’t even have to go away for that long, maybe just a weekend or something.” The words fell aimlessly from his lips as she watched his thoughts race. “I don’t know where we’d go though…”

Kandi knew that was her cue to chime in since she knew the area so much better than he did. “Well…we could go to Myrtle Beach, but it’s kinda trashy. The whole club scene isn’t really us anymore anyway.”

Logan nodded as he shifted Eben’s weight in his lap.

“We could drive up to Charlotte,” she offered. “My mom could watch Eben for the weekend since she’d be on the way.”

The thought of being apart from their son, even if only for a couple days, was unnerving, and it was at that precise moment that they both realized they’d never spent a night separated from the toddler. Logan had been away on tour while Eben was a baby, and every few months or so before his acting hiatus, he’d spend a week here and there in LA for filming, but Kandi had always been there with Eben. The only people they’d ever allowed to watch him was their own parents, and even then, it had never been overnight.

As badly was she wanted to spend a weekend holed up in some lavish hotel room with Logan and as much as she needed to feel that fire in the pit of her stomach again, she knew it would be hard to go that long without seeing her baby.

The two of them refused to acknowledge the obstacle that they were both all too aware of.

“That works out great then.” He flashed her that lopsided grin, and any sliver of doubt she had seemed to dissipate. “I know it’s been a few months since your mom’s seen him.”

She bit her lip as she diverted her stare, that reckless sense of passion that she’d felt for him way back when making itself more and more apparent with each second that passed. It was all she could do to fight the urge to kiss him right then and there in that restaurant, but instead, she distracted herself with her iPhone, catching a glimpse of the time in the process.

“Wow, I’d better be getting back to the hospital,” Kandi announced, her honey-brown eyes darting anxiously around the small, crowded space. “So I’ll see you for dinner? Let me know if you want me to stop and pick up anything on the way home.”

“Okay, will do.” She felt the soft curve of his smile against her lips as she leaned in for a quick peck. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” he spouted the words off so casually, but she could still see that hint of adoration in his brown eyes and the way his features seemed to soften whenever he was around his family.

Her lips brushed against her son’s forehead, and she caught a whiff of that indescribably toddler scent, something like baby shampoo, ketchup, and Play-Doh lingering in her nostrils as she murmured against his smooth skin. “Love you too, Ebbie. Don’t be too hard on your dad, okay?”

“Love you, Mama.” The syllables were slurred together in toddler-nese, but it was hard to ignore the grin that erupted on his face as he stuck out his fist.

Kandi bit back her own smile, raising an eyebrow as her eyes darted back to Logan.

“I’m trying to teach him how to give dap.” Logan said the words as if he were stating the most obvious in the world. It was the same tone of voice that someone would use to give you the time or to tell you that the sky was blue, and somehow, in the situation, that lack of emotion made it even more difficult for her to fight back her own laughter. “So far, we’ve just got the fist bump down, but believe you me, by the time we get him into daycare, he’ll be filled to the brim with nothing but pure swagger.”

She held his gaze as she lightly bumped her fist into Eben’s. “There are so many other things you could be teaching him, that’s all I’ve got to say.”

“See you later, K.” The sentiment was accompanied by his most winning grin, the sort of smile that had the innate ability to break down all of her walls, even now.

“Bye.” There was that ever so slight twitch of her lip, the barely visible smile that was their little secret. The one that let him know he’d passed the test. After all of these years, he’d passed the test. Logan always won, and he’d won her over every single day that the two of them had been together.

Because that was the key to it all: never letting themselves forget why they’d fallen in love with each other in the first place. Even when they were exhausted, bursting at the seams from the little stresses and pressures of their day-to-day lives, he’d make some comment or shoot her some glance that made her feel that rush again, that pulse-pounding, lip fumbling, buzzing sensation she’d felt in the beginning. Now, they didn’t have the clubs, the alcohol, or the carefree nature of being young with no responsibilities to rely on, but somehow, here they were, still standing.

Seeing the two loves of her life, if only for a brief lunch, was enough to get her through the rest of the day. Hour after hour filled with pap smears, blood smears, the occasional biopsy here and there, and while it wasn’t the most glamorous career choice, she was in no place to complain. In theory, cytology was perfect for her, and while she knew in the back of her mind that she should be satisfied, fulfilled even, because she was doing the one thing that she’d always wanted to, she was helping people, saving their lives actually, she wasn’t happy. She was good at her job, but she had yet to attain that inner sense of fulfillment, and that bothered her.

It was the one thing she felt she couldn’t talk to Logan about, almost because she already knew what he would say. He’d tell her to find her passion, and that just wasn’t an option right now.

As soon as she was tucked away from the city in the driver’s seat of her black S.U.V, Kandi’s fingers flexed around the steering wheel. The darkening sky was a giveaway, but a glance at the clock confirmed that it was later than she expected. Another day had passed with barely a glimpse of the sun, more time she wished she could’ve spent with her family, or at least doing something she really and truly loved. It was more time she knew she could never get back.

Though music streamed through the speakers, Kandi didn’t hear any of it. Her mind was preoccupied, her thoughts drifting aimlessly as she kept her eyes focused on the white lines. All she wanted was for everything to be okay, for everyone in her life to be happy, but no matter how much her brain raced through every possible course, someone always had to make a sacrifice. Still, she clung to this resounding faith that they would all find their way in this world.

Maybe it was the scent of the sea in the air or the anticipation of being greeted by those recklessly charming grins, but the closer Kandi got to home, the more her spirit began to lift. By the time she’d finally pulled into the garage, she was grinning like an idiot. Tucking a strand of smooth chestnut hair behind her ear, she gathered up her things and made her way towards the side door.

As she strolled through the kitchen, setting her bag on the kitchen table as she passed, she couldn’t help but notice how quiet the house was. Usually, she could hear Eben squealing with delight or the sound of Logan’s voice as he tried to sing or rap to their son, but tonight, all she could hear as she made her way towards the living room was _Yo Gabba Gabba!_ playing on the television.

Grabbing onto the doorframe for balance, she slipped out of her pumps. “Hey guys, I’m…” she announced as she entered the room, but her tone immediately softened once she saw them, “home?”

There they were, the two halves of her heart, sprawled out across the sofa, exhausted from a day spent doing only God knows what. Logan’s dark locks were disheveled, his mouth agape, and his head tucked uncomfortably between the arm of the couch and the plush beige cushions. Soft, muffled snores spilled past his lips, his hand resting on Eben’s back as the toddler snoozed along his father’s chest, his thumb in his mouth and his baseball hat hanging from his headful of chestnut curls. As much as she wanted to go grab her phone from her bag and take a picture, it was too late. The moment was lost.

Logan must have felt her standing over them, the way her shadow waned across his closed lids, because he slowly opened his eyes, his frame shifting softly along the length of the couch.

“Hey,” he mumbled, flickers of a smile forming on his lips as he stretched his arms out above his head. “How was work?”

“Fine, fine,” she said with a sigh as she took a seat on the edge of the sofa. “Did you guys already have dinner?”

He held Eben firmly against his chest as he tried to subtly sit up without waking the boy in the process. “Yeah, I made Easy Mac with cut-up hot dogs.” He beamed with pride. “There’s some in the fridge if you’re hungry.”

“Nah, I think I’ll pass.” She laughed to herself. “Did you give him a bath yet?”

His dark eyes drifted between the sleeping toddler in his arms and Kandi’s stare before he slowly shook his head. “After we ate dinner, we just hung out and watched some Nick Jr. I didn’t expect to doze off for an hour and a half.”

“Well, he’s gotta have a bath. He’s all grubby and dirty.” Her gaze skimmed the dried paint flakes on the bottoms of his feet and the ketchup stains still licking at his wrist.

“Well, you’re gonna have to be the one to wake him up then,” he replied, mimicking her tone. “‘Cause you know I can’t do it, not when he’s knocked out like this.”

“Oh okay,” she replied, rolling her eyes as she slipped her hand beneath Eben’s t-shirt. Rubbing slow circles against his skin, she leaned forward and whispered in his ear, “Eben, sweetie, wake up. You’ve gotta take your bath.” Her voice grew louder as she repeated the words, raking her fingers through his curls until he peeked through his eyelashes at her.

On the brink of a wail, his nose scrunched up and his lips parted, but Logan was quick to soothe him. “Come on, little dude. We can play with that cool boat you got the other day.”

That seemed to cheer him up, but he still jutted his lower lip and tilted those big brown eyes up at his dad. “Bubbles?”

Logan’s gaze drifted to meet hers, that half-smirk, half-grin of his playing across his lips. “Whatever you want.”

Kandi couldn’t help but smile to herself as she followed the two of them towards the downstairs bathroom. As she walked down the hall, bare feet padding against the hardwood floor, she wished she could still see the world in that childlike simplicity like her son did. She only wished she could feel that same sort of unbridled joy that Eben felt for something as simple as bubbles, but the only things that brought her emotion in the purest form were her husband and their child. Eben was thrilled when he managed to get his shoes and jacket on by himself. He had yet to experience the stresses that accompanied the process of growing up, and there was a part of Kandi that wanted to keep him that way forever and protect him from all that the world had to hurl at him.

Logan ran the bath, delving his hand beneath the shallow water to make sure it wasn’t too hot before he placed Eben in the tub.

“So I looked up some places for us to stay in Charlotte,” he said, making Eben’s toy motorboat zip in circles just in front of the toddler.

Kandi was preoccupied with trying to get Eben clean, lathering up baby shampoo in his hair and sponging the grime from his skin. “That’s cool. When were you wanting to go?”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me. Whatever fits into your schedule, since you’re the one with the full-time job and everything.”

Her expression dropped. “Logan, don’t.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” he assured her, adding on a chuckle for good measure. “I just meant that, as far as the timing goes, it’s really up to you.” He smiled. “I found a couple places I think you’ll really like.”

“Well then.” She lowered her eyes at him. “I can’t wait.”

By the time he was finished with his bath, Eben was already beginning to doze off again, which made it even more difficult to get him into his pyjamas. On the other hand, they didn’t have to work very hard to get him to go to bed. He was satisfied with just his nightlight and a kiss from each of his parents. No lullabies, no endless stream of bedtime stories, and best of all, no cranky fussing. When it came to parenting, the two of them were learning that it was all about the little wins, and this was definitely one of those small accomplishments.

The two of them lingered in the doorway, silently watching as Eben drifted off into his dreams. There was the silent but heavy realization that there were endless paths that their lives could’ve taken, and somehow, they’d ended up here.

And in the grand scheme of things, here wasn’t a terrible place to be. Maybe their lives weren’t perfect, but they had each other. They had their family, they had their health, and they had a little slice of happiness.


End file.
